Blog Post by Rodney A. Wilson
Rodney Wilson is a regular guest post writer on Selma on Leadership. Rodney has been a marriage and family pastor/counselor for almost 20 years. Rodney and Selma have been married for 40 years and they have spoken and written on marriage and family issues for most of their married life.
Not all couples who pop up in your newsfeed or sit next to you in church are as happy as they seem. Many marriages seem fine when trouble is actually brewing beneath the surface. Our culture conditions us to keep difficult issues hidden and never ask for help until it’s too late. Let’s be clear: your marriage does not have to be on the verge of divorce before it needs counseling. In fact, it is wise to talk with someone well in advance of that stage.
So whether it’s with a therapist, a pastor, a pastoral counselor, or someone close to both of you who can keep things confidential – many, if not all marriages, need to seek counseling at some point.Our culture conditions us to keep difficult issues hidden. Click To Tweet
Is that where you are? Does your marriage need some outside perspective to help get you through a tough spot? One disagreement doesn’t mean you immediately need therapy. So how can you tell if you’re just having a bad week or if you need to seek outside help?
Here are ten signs that your marriage might need counseling.
1) You keep arguing about the same thing, in the same way, expecting different results. (Remember the definition of insanity?)
2) You have a lot of unresolved problems, and they keep piling up. You are suffocating and don’t know how or where to begin digging out.
3) There is one major issue where you both have dug in your heels and no one is giving an inch.
4) You are spending less and less time with each other and neither one of you seems to care.
5) There is no joy in your relationship. You are strictly functioning in business mode.
6) In your last argument, someone put the D-word (divorce) on the table.
7) Your conflict is escalating. Every fight gets louder and more demonstrative and you’re afraid it will eventually get physical.
8) Your arguments have gotten physical.
9) There is no argument. About anything. No conflict is ever voiced but it is clearly there under the surface. You feel it building and are afraid of how it might blow.
10) You both want your marriage to get better, yet you do not know how to take it there.
For whatever reason, if you’re struggling in your marriage, don’t suffer alone. You two get over yourselves, call your church for some references and make an appointment. There are many Christian counselors waiting to help you.
Your marriage does not have to be on the verge of divorce before it needs counseling. Click To Tweet
Arrogance leads to nothing but strife, but wisdom is gained by those who take advice. Proverbs 13:10