Blog Post by Rodney A. Wilson
Rodney Wilson is a regular guest post writer on Selma on Leadership. Rodney has been a marriage and family pastor/counselor for almost 20 years. Rodney and Selma have been married for 40 years and they have spoken and written on marriage and family issues for most of their married life.
Think about your all-time favorite date with your spouse before you got married. Before your wedding, you intentionally and wholeheartedly dated your future mate. You got dressed up, planned romantic dinners, spent hours talking, and poured time and energy into trying to know and woo your spouse.
Then you got married. Sadly a lot of people think as soon as the honeymoon ends, so does all the “trying” in marriage. The truth is that your wedding was the beginning of a lifelong commitment to date your spouse.Your wedding was the beginning of a lifelong commitment to date your spouse. Click To Tweet
Yes, married couples need to date. Getting away for a weekend, a walk around the block, fixing dinner together, getting an ice cream – whatever – exclusive times alone can strengthen your marriage like crazy. Dating not only continues in marriage, it’s better in marriage.
Here are 3 reasons dating your mate is good for your marriage:
1. Dating builds momentum in your marriage.
When you have a date scheduled on the calendar, it builds energy and excitement. There is anticipation, excitement, interest, freshness – anything but boredom and staleness when you know that exclusive time with your loved one is on the way.
2. Dating builds attraction and defends against outside intruders.
The best way you can defend against potential unfaithfulness is to nurture and cultivate what you have in your marriage. Be offensive-minded! Deepen the attraction between you and your mate by doing fun things together. Make your spouse feel think “I’d be a fool to look at anyone else because my marriage is so good!”
3. Dating builds identity in marriage – apart from the kids.
Kids are great but when the nest is empty, what you have invested along the way is what you will have left when they are gone. Carve out some time to break from the kids – for a dinner or a weekend – to catch up on you two. Dating can connect you as a couple throughout the kid-raising years and prevent you from looking at a stranger in your house once your last kid has gone off to college.
Bottom line: dating in your marriage is just wise. There are so many positives about tending to your relationship. And the icing on the cake? It’s fun! It will take some time to calendar them, and sometimes you might spend some money. Go for it. Dating is an incredible investment for you two.