Blog Post by Rodney A. Wilson
Rodney Wilson is a regular guest post writer on Selma on Leadership. Rodney has been a marriage and family pastor/counselor for almost 20 years. Rodney and Selma have been married for 40 years and they have spoken and written on marriage and family issues for most of their married life.
Spouses wear many different hats in their marriage. Spouses are sometimes bill-payers, toilet repairmen, moms and dads, lovers, employees, cooks, small group leaders, dishwashers (after your small group has gone home) and countless others.
Somewhere on their list of roles spouses need to be playmates, i.e. they need to play together. To have fun, for a moment be a kid again, maybe do something off the wall and get out of their regular routine. To laugh at yourself and laugh together. Just have fun. (I love riding bikes with Selma and getting caught in the rain!)
Your fun could be something crazy or more subdued. It doesn’t matter. The idea is to create an atmosphere of enjoying activities together as a couple. You want an attitude of “I love doing this with you.” Or, “I can’t wait till we _______” because it’s so much fun. Let’s look at the fun aspect of marriage for a few moments.Are you fostering an environment of FUN with your spouse? Here are 4 benefits of doing so: Click To Tweet
Here are 4 benefits of doing fun things together as a couple:
- Builds momentum. Doing fun stuff gets the relationship moving in a positive direction. A fun-filled marriage tells each spouse that this is a pleasant and enjoyable environment. No marriage is fun all the time, of course. However, the tougher times will be easier to manage if there are lighter moments along the way.
- Protects the relationship. When marriage is enjoyable, spouses “lean in” toward each other. The energy created in fun times gives mates incentive to focus inward on their marriage. A positive marriage can cause each spouse to think, “Why would I ever even consider anyone else?” Or, “I’d be a fool to look at another!” A positive environment fueled by a fun-loving marriage protects the union.
- Takes the edge off of the cares and weight of this world. Yes, there are heavy issues and serious responsibilities we have to deal with, some of which are mentioned above. Yet couples can better tackle the harder stuff when they take breaks, get away, do some things to relax, giggle, and escape for a moment. Energy is restored and a whole new attitude toward the challenges of life formulates after a fun break together.
- Fortifies the marriage team. When you see an athletic team carrying on off field, teasing each other, joking and having lighter moments together, you know they are a strong unit and will be a formidable opponent.
It is the same within a marriage. When this “two-person team” laughs together, teases each other, each is willing to laugh at himself/herself at times, does fun stuff as a couple – you know it is a solid team and will be a formidable opponent against anyone or anything trying to attack their team unity.
The team identity becomes clearer as well. People will notice that yours is a marriage that has fun. You two can become an inspiration for others to occasionally lighten up in their marriage as well.
Granted, “fun” doesn’t solve all of your marital challenges, and serious issues will certainly need to be faced. But fun times sprinkled throughout your life together can lighten the load, build security and make the overall marriage relationship stronger.
Try it. I promise, it will be … fun!
“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22