I have had the blessing of knowing and serving with many pastor’s wives over the years. In different seasons of my life, it has been the pastor’s wife who was a significant role model and influence in my life teaching me formally and informally what servant leadership really looked like. In recent years, I have also had the honor to counsel some pastor’s wives who have been hurt by the church or those that feel they have lost their husbands to the church.
Do you know your pastor’s wife? Are you praying for her? She may be one of the most neglected and overlooked people in the church. Be intentional about knowing her, praying for her, and serving her. She won’t ask for it but she needs you to care.Do you know your pastor's wife? She may be one of the most neglected and overlooked people in the church. Click To Tweet
Here are 15 things your pastor’s wife needs from you:
- Sunday morning friends. She is ALONE on Sundays. She is a single mom every week. Church and church functions will never be a “family” event for her and her family. She has to share her husband with the church family. Make sure the church family embraces her.
- She needs safe friends who are like family to surround her, love her, and support her especially during those times when her husband is serving others besides her and their family.
- Bless, support, guard, challenge, and insist that family time is a must for her husband.
- She needs the freedom, blessing, and grace to say no. She simply can’t do it all or be at every function or every event.
- Permission and blessing to be whom God designed her to be and not pressured to be someone she isn’t.
- Someone to care enough to ask her “How are you REALLY doing?”
- People who will pray for her, intercede for her, and speak God’s word to her.
- Low maintenance friends who are there when needed but don’t demand more than she can give.
- Understanding that her most important ministry is to her husband and to their children.
- Love and grace with her children. Don’t expect more of them just because they are the pastor’s children.
- Help with the children so she can spend some of her time beside her husband on Sundays serving and ministering to others.
- She needs to be reminded that Jesus loves her and that Christ alone will meet all her needs.
- Don’t tell her things you wish her husband would do, stop doing, or start doing.
- Give her a hug and a thank you often.
Your pastor’s wife is an amazing woman. God has called and placed her in such a significant place of ministry and influence and we, the body of Christ, have an opportunity to serve her and her pastor husband in ways that will make an eternal impact. Be intentional about caring for your pastor’s wife.
“Now we ask you, brothers, to give recognition to those who labor among you and lead you in the Lord and admonish you, and to regard them very highly in love because of their work.” 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13a
Ask your pastor’s wife what other needs she would add to this list.