The devastation from the Ashley Madison hack will be felt for decades to come as families and lives have been torn apart. This past week has been heartbreaking as we have heard story after story of the painful results as names have been revealed. The most painful has been the suicides that have happened leaving families ripped apart with the pain of loss and deception. No words can adequately describe this kind of hurt.
I have heard there are over 37 million names on the “list.” I also know there are names not on this list of people who are also living a lie, hiding truth, and believing they will not be caught.
The Ashley Madison promise was “Life is Short, Have an Affair.” They were right on one point: life is short. But, the brevity of life and the eternity of life must point us to a different way to live, a different way to lead.
I pray we don’t miss one lesson from this tragedy. Not one. I pray God will open our eyes to see and learn.
It is a good time to get honest about our own leadership. Pretending to be someone you aren’t is exhausting and not sustainable in the long-run. At some point, who you really are will be revealed. Are you wearing a leadership mask, pretending to be something you are not?Whenever you set yourself up to always have it together, you are one step away from danger. Click To Tweet
Watch for these signs that your leadership is in danger.
1. Leadership requires perfection.
In trying to be perfect, you will need relief and often this relief will come in the form of an escape or damaging habit to you or others. You are not perfect. You are human, and you have weaknesses. Whenever you set yourself up to always have it together, you are one step away from danger.
2. You don’t open up to anyone.
You lead a private life and you don’t let anyone in. You feel it is necessary to appear to have it all together. We all need people who will tell us the truth. People who will ask us the hard questions. People who check in on you when you travel. People who you are real with, that pray for you, and that hold you accountable.
3. You consider your time on the Internet private and harmless.
It is just too tempting in today’s world to go to places on the Internet that are harmful to you. You need someone to hold you accountable for all sites you visit and all messages coming in to you. Be open for someone to check in on you. Be open for you spouse to see. Nothing hidden. A private conversation, a private site, an inappropriate inquiry will lead to your destruction and the devastating pain of those you love the most. Run from it. Turn it off. It isn’t worth it.Lead with confidence in the One who created you, redeemed you, and will complete His work in you. Click To Tweet
4. You can’t ask for help.
Don’t let your pride prevent you from asking for help. Whatever pain you may feel from asking for help is nothing compared to the devastation of the pain of living a lie and what that lie will do to crush you.
5. You believe your lie will never be revealed.
It is already being revealed because the lie is showing up in your life. Others may not know yet, but trust me, your lie is having an impact on you and on others. There are plenty of promises in Scripture that truth will be revealed. The mask will come off. The truth will always come out.
We are all broken. There is no perfect leader. Lead as one who understands your weakness and the weaknesses the people you lead. We lead with confidence because our strength comes from God who redeems and restores and makes something beautiful from our lives.
It is a great time for the Church, God’s people, to offer the only relief possible: the unmerited love and grace of a God who can redeem all things and work through all things for His glory. A God who is able to bring healing and forgiveness. This is the amazing truth of the gospel.
Take your mask off and lead as one redeemed by Christ. Lead with confidence in the One who created you, redeemed you, and will complete His work in you.
“I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 1:6