Welcome to Season 1, Episode 12 of the Selma on Leadership podcast. In this episode, my fabulous husband Rodney is back and we discuss how to move from anger to intimacy in marriage with my co-host Kristen McCall. Anger in marriage is bound to happen, but how you handle it determines the health of your relationship. Listen in as we share marriage tips and advice from 39 years of ups and downs, and hopefully you’ll walk away encouraged and equipped to handle conflict in your marriage a little bit better.
In this episode you will learn:
- The value of having differences with your spouse
- Why anger itself isn’t what infects a marriage, it’s the mishandling of it that does
- Ways to work through anger in a healthy way
- How resolved conflicts help grow more intimacy in the relationship
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TweetsAnger isn't what infects a marriage, it's the mishandling of it that does. Click To Tweet If two people agree on everything, then one of you is unnecessary. Click To Tweet Conflict is normal because you and your spouse have differences. Click To Tweet
“A lot of time in conflict you see you’re boxing each other. That one of you is going to win and one of you is going to lose. We like to teach couples, you get on the same side of the ring. You two are a team.”
“We’re not perfect, we’re going to mess up, and learn to forgive, forgive, forgive. It’s a Biblical principle and it’s just real. Don’t die on every hill, everything’s not major. A lot of conflicts is just because you’re tired, and the press of life.”
“One of the powerful things about learning to work through anger — and this a huge one that I think we’ve found richness in — is that learning anger is often a secondary emotion. That once you get the anger out of the way, then you have an opportunity to share intimately about yourselves with each other. The thing that made you angry underneath it may be insecurity. It may be some trigger from a life issue that you faced before that you need to talk about with your spouse. That’s the beauty of being able to, as a team, sit down and get underneath that issue.”
You can download a complete transcription of the episode here.
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