Karen was totally frustrated with her husband. “He doesn’t feel anything! Talking to him about feelings is like talking to a brick wall!” I smiled and asked if she was ready to roll up her sleeves and go to work … on herself. I reminded her that her husband feels every emotion she feels (yes, your husband does, too!). There are many reasons why he chooses to express them differently or not at all. In our culture men are taught from an early age to hold their emotions back. Remember, “Big boys don’t cry.”
As wives we get the awesome privilege and responsibility of creating a safe place for our husbands to share. I cherish those times when Rodney tells me his dreams, struggles, and fears; I know it’s a precious gift of trust. I offered Karen the following tips, and she rolled up her sleeves and went to work. She still tells me, often with tears, of the beautiful treasures she is discovering in her husband.As wives we get the awesome privilege and responsibility of creating a safe place for our husbands to share. Click To Tweet
Four Quick Tips to Connect with Your Husband
- Be patient. It will take time for him to trust you enough to open up. When he does share, even something that seems small to you, cherish it.
- Affirm. Listen more and talk less. Husbands can become overwhelmed with too much emotional information.
- Learn to actively do things with your husband. Some of our most intimate conversations happen when Rodney and I are watching sports together on TV, riding bikes, or working in the yard. It rarely happens over a planned time of talking.
- Pray for him every day, specifically. Pray for God to keep His hand on him and to bless him. Pray for God to heal any hurts that have happened in his life over the years. Ask God to keep your heart tender and loving toward him.
“She opens her mouth with wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26 HCSBShe opens her mouth with wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26 HCSB Click To Tweet
What are some ways that you enjoy connecting with your husband?