My husband and I have been involved in marriage ministry now for over 30 years. It is one of our greatest joys to teach and help couples experience the joy of marriage as God designed it – oneness, intimacy, partnership, friendship, and so much more.
But way too often, we see it: the signs of a marriage in trouble. Rodney spends a great deal of his ministry time counseling troubled marriages and it is beautiful to see how God can take something that is dying and give it new life. But sometimes, all the counseling in the world doesn’t help. The marriage dies.God can take something that is dying, like a troubled marriage, and give it new life. Click To Tweet
Bob and Karen were actively involved in our couples class. Karen was the first one to step up to serve if there was a need and Bob was always encouraging others. And then, it seemed out of nowhere, they stopped coming. After several attempts, we finally got to talk them. Their marriage was over. We begged, we prayed, we challenged, we cried but it was over.
When did Bob and Karen’s marriage start to die? We’re not sure, but here are a few warning signs your marriage is in big trouble.
8 Signs of a Dying Marriage:
- His and Hers: Going fast but going in completely different directions, because you’re both super busy with your own friendships, plans, events, calendars. You don’t share dreams and goals as a couple. You have no alignment of purpose. You live isolated lives.
- All Business: You don’t have fun together anymore. There is no laughter, no friendship, or no inside jokes. You have forgetten the joy of just being together.
- Swept Under the Rug: Unresolved conflict and anger have turned to bitterness and resentment.
- Icy Sheets: Affection and sexual intimacy are gone. The bedroom is cold.
- Lost spiritual unity: Going through the motions of church and spiritual things but there is no spiritual intimacy between the two of you and God. You don’t pray together. You don’t have spiritual conversations anymore.
- No fight left: You’re tired. You have no energy left to give. Yelling and arguing have been replaced with silence. You just stop caring altogether.
- The husband feels disrespected: He feels like he will never be good enough for his wife, like nothing he does will ever be enough.
- The wife feels unloved: She feels like she no longer has her husband’s heart, like she can no longer captivate him.
If any or all of these signs speak about your marriage, it is not too late. We have seen marriages on the brink of dying, be transformed by God. God is able to give life back and to redeem those things that were broken. He delights to do it. But don’t put it off. Take action immediately. Starting doing those things that will bring life back into your marriage. Pray, talk, meet with a pastor or christian counselor, go on a marriage retreat, take the first step with your spouse. Don’t settle for less than God’s plan for marriage, which is healing, forgiveness, and redemption.
“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh. Both the man and his wife were naked, but felt no shame.” Genesis 2:24
Stay tuned on Wednesday for Part 2 — 8 Signs of a Thriving Marriage.
What do you do to keep your marriage alive?