Blog Post by Rodney A. Wilson
Rodney Wilson is a regular guest post writer on Selma on Leadership. Rodney has been a marriage and family pastor/counselor for almost 20 years. Rodney and Selma have been married for 40 years and they have spoken and written on marriage and family issues for most of their married life.
Life is getting crazier. The world is getting faster and marriages are getting more strained by its pace. This busy world takes its toll on relationships.
Sometimes you just need to get off the merry-go-round. Retreat. In today’s world, it is not really a luxury but a necessity to take some time. The “small talk” – the logistics of doing life – crowds out all but the urgent in marriage. We all need a time to remove ourselves from the press of this world’s pace to reconnect, catch our breath and refresh our marriage relationship.In today's world sometimes you need to get off the merry-go-round. Take a marriage retreat. Click To Tweet
Here are some benefits to taking a marriage retreat, just the two of you.
- Noise reduction. Noise is the rat race. The craziness of life. It is the leaky faucet, the dirty diapers, the irritable neighbor, the crisis at work. Stuff. Noise reduction is necessary to hear each other in a way that you cannot in a cell phone conversation between your 5th grader’s school and her soccer practice.
A time or two Selma and I have met at home for our so-called “retreat”. And yet it was never the same as getting away. At home, it always turns out more like a staff calendaring meeting. You gotta be able to breathe in and breathe out as a couple even if it’s only for a night. Get away, reduce the noise and “retreat” becomes much more likely.
- Calendar and life control. Retreats keep the calendar from controlling you. When you are away from it all, you can a) look at what’s really important, instead of frantically calendaring the urgent; b) set goals for the coming year; c) set plans on how to achieve those goals, and d) calendar all of this!
And the first thing you calendar: next year’s getaway!
There is tremendous freedom when you have your calendar managed well as a marriage team. Of course there will be last-minute events come up, but with a properly handled family calendar, those become the exception rather than the rule. And peace in the household can reside.
- Spiritual reconnection. Some of the best prayer times I have ever had with Selma have been on our marriage retreats. Getting away from the noise also allows you two to hear from God. To sense His leading as you seek it together.
More than once when He walked the earth, our Lord got away for spiritual connection with His Father. Yet He often withdrew to deserted places and prayed. (Luke 5:16) His noise was different when He walked the earth, yet He still needed to occasionally retreat from it.
Jesus modeled what we all should do from time to time by retreating. Your marriage retreat makes spiritual reconnection possible – with the Lord and with your spouse.
- Sexual reconnection. While sex should be part of your normal life together as a married couple, getting away makes sex, like everything else, special. When you’re away, you will be more rested and better able to give your full time and attention to each other. Again, retreating can make this conducive to happening.
- Family security. When they were young, our girls would roll their eyes and pretend to gag when we would go on a date and especially a retreat. Inside, however, they loved it. They knew we were going with the expressed interest of making our marriage, and subsequently our family, stronger. The retreats told them with certainty that we believed in our marriage and valued it enough to work on it. That made them secure and they never complained about feeling secure.
So get away. For a long time or a night or two. A long way from home or the next town. Spend a lot or a little but get away. Your marriage needs it. Be sure to calendar it. In the midst of yet another dirty diaper your spouse can look at the calendar and take hope: a retreat is coming!
Your spouse and your kids will thank you for the getaway. There are lots of upsides when you make it happen.